I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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