there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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