I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
