Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
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