i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
