i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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