I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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