I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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