I need to stop coming to work sober
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
