dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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