i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize