i just wanna soil my oats bro
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
