Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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