i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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