She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
