Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
