Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
