He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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