I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize