she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
