omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
