Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
