Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
