Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
