some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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