im having a threesome with these popsicles
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
