Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
