party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
