Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sober January is a disaster.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
