is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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