Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
