Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
