He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
