I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
