ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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