haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
