That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
