brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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