I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We're too hungover to prance.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
