weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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