it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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