it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There r osticjed everywhere
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize