Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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