is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
