Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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