so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
