How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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