just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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