I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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