i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
