there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
