There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
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can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
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Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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