"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
