yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
