on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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